


it was meant to be

by themadtilde



Series: Saphael & Malec prompts [10]
Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Implied/Referenced Sex, Kissing, M/M, a liittlee fluff i guess, a little humor, a small misunderstanding, accidental sex y'know, talking about hookups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 20:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14339892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadtilde/pseuds/themadtilde
Summary: Simon scratched his neck awkwardly, averting his eyes from Raphael’s intense, wary gaze.“I came to talk,” he muttered, fidgeting. “About us. You know.”Accidentally having hot vampire sex with my 70 year old mentor who kind of scares the crap out of me 24/7 but apparently I have a dom slash sub kink and I am the submissive one and this is doing wonderful things to my sexuality crisis.Sequel toit was accidentalandit was unintentional





	it was meant to be

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of "it was accidental" and "it was unintentional" and I advise you to read those before this one, because things will make more sense then.
> 
> I'm not really happy with this - I almost finished the whole story but it felt too forced and unnatural so I deleted all of it and rewrote. This is more of a filler, a closure to put an end to this mini series and well, it doesn't suck as much now as it did before I rewrote it.  
> I also rewrote this in past tense so I might have missed some verbs here and there that still are written in present tense or whatever it's called in English. I will correct mistakes as I see them.  
> I'm currently suffering a minor author's block - which I guess is what happens when you take an unexpected break for two years, then suddenly come back and write 11 fanfics in less than two weeks, all while "midterms" are coming up. 
> 
> As usual, I spell "realize" and such with Z, because I can't differentiate between British and American English. And by that, you can probably understand that English isn't my native language.
> 
> And I don't own Mortal Instruments. At all. ):

“Are you going to stand out there all night until the sun comes up, or do you actually have a reason for showing up?”

Simon yelped and jumped in surprise when the doors to the Hotel slammed open, revealing Raphael leaning against the doorframe, looking at Simon with cautious, cool eyes. He was wearing a new, dark suit and Simon’s thought flickered briefly to the last time he tore one of Raphael’s shirts, though that time, Raphael hadn’t complained the slightest. Which probably also had to do with the fact that Simon’s mouth had latched onto his, making it impossible for the older vampire to whine even if he had wanted to.

“Well?”

Simon’s mind snapped back to the present when Raphael spoke again, clearly getting impatient. He realized that he should answer but all he could think about was how hot Raphael looked when he was staring Simon down, how his plump lips looked incredibly inviting even though they were pursed together with annoyance.

“No! I mean, yes. I have a reason. But I wasn’t going to stand here until the sun came up though, I would have left before that. Y’know, painfully burning to death because a ray of sunlight hit me doesn’t sound very heroic so naturally I would have …

“Why are you still here then?” interrupted Raphael, looking bored. “You say you were going to leave before the sun arises, meaning that you also didn’t plan on knocking or doing anything except for standing here. Which is quite pointless and foolish even for you.”

Simon scratched his neck awkwardly, averting his eyes from Raphael’s intense, wary gaze.

“I came to talk,” he muttered, fidgeting. “About us. You know.” _Accidentally having hot vampire sex with my 70 year old mentor who kind of scares the crap out of me 24/7 but apparently I have a dom slash sub kink and I am the submissive one and this is doing wonderful things to my sexuality crisis._

Raphael stared at him, unimpressed and calculating, and Simon squirmed a little under the intense gaze. The silence and tension was almost palpable.

Eventually, Raphael let out a barely audible sigh and motioned for Simon to come in.

Nervously, Simon followed Raphael through the corridors of the Hotel, trying not to think about how good Raphael’s shoulders looked in that suit. But since Raphael was walking ahead of Simon, not sparing a glance back to make sure Simon was following, he also gave Simon an excellent view of the way his shoulders were moving and _maybe_ Simon’s fangs were aching a little in his gums.

Simon shuffled after him quietly, not daring to break the silence. The Hotel was unusually quiet - not that the vampires here normally created a lot of noise or talked and laughed out loud, but now, it was eerily quiet. Simon wondered if they knew about him and Raphael, and if that’s why they’re staying away.

He didn't realize that Raphael had led them to his own quarters, and when he did, he freezes. The first thing he saw was Raphael’s king-sized bed, with dark red silk sheets and just a generally exaggerated and pompous design. His thoughts drifted briefly back to the last time he was in this room, on that bed, and he wondered if Raphael was also thinking about that right now.

“Sit,” commanded Raphael and placed himself behind his desk, nodding to the chair on the opposite side. Simon bit himself in the tongue to stop himself from replying something cheeky and suggestive, like “that’s kinky, boss,” or “sure thing, daddy” (he had accidentally tried the latter once, and Raphael had not been pleased). Obediently, he slipped into the chair, sitting on the edge of it with his hands folded in his lap. He looked around in the room, very conscious of Raphael’s eyes on him.

“You said you wanted to talk. So talk.” Raphael’s voice was curt and impatient, like he was already regretting bringing Simon inside. Simon started wringing his hands out of nervosity, but he didn't miss the annoyed glance Raphael gives him when he does that so he stopped almost immediately. Instead, he cleared his throat and tried to remember the speech he had been planning in his head on his way here.

“I …” His voice was hoarse and he had to cough again, and Raphael’s expression turned somehow even more exasperated at that, and Simon wished that he hadn’t taken Luke’s advice and talked to the clearly dissatisfied and annoyed vampire in front of him.

“I wanted to apologize for … you know, yeah. I … shouldn’t have done it, I know that, I should have tried talking to you instead of doing what I did and I understand if you are pissed at me right now because I am that myself, it was a shitty thing to do and I wish I could undo it because I know I’ve fucked up and you probably hate me now, which is totally fair because I am a coward and an idiot and why aren’t you saying anything because you usually hate when I’m rambling like this and normally you would have interrupted me a long time ago?” Simon babbled, his nervosity only increasing when Raphael remained judgingly silent and that made the fledgling speak even faster, straining to get the words out as fast as possible.

When he did stop talking, he forced himself to look at Raphael and _crap, he’s still staring at Simon, all emotionless and cautious and slightly condescending._ The tension between them was back and the only thing that stopped Simon from fidgeting like crazy was the knowledge that Raphael would most likely snap and stake him with the wooden chair he was sitting on if he did.

 Since Raphael (and Simon, of course) didn't need to breathe, there was no intake of breath that could warn and prepare Simon for Raphael’s voice - he just started talking all of sudden and Simon startled at the abrupt sound. 

“I understand that you presumably were too engulfed with lust and overwhelmed with all these emotions that arose during the intense training - which is common amongst fledglings - and that led you to believing you wanted … what happened afterwards,” replied Raphael, and his voice was stiff and his posture rigid. He pressed his lips together in a thin line, warily eyeing Simon who stared at him with a confused look. His brow was furrowed and his eyes darted to the side, and he was clearly trying to figure out the meaning of Raphael’s words.

 “My point is, I am willing to forget what happened and we can continue like normal,” clarified Raphael, and Simon’s heart sank. A heavy feeling settled in his stomach, and he chastised himself for feeling disappointed. After all, what had he expected? That Raphael liked him _back,_ or that he would forgive Simon for just leaving him hanging, not texting or calling him even once for two weeks?

 Okay, part of him had hoped that things between them wouldn’t become too awkward and that they would clear this thing up, and judging by Raphael’s suggestion, that was what they were about to do to. But not in the way Simon had hoped. 

 _Of course he wants to forget this happened_! Simon scolded himself, mentally hitting himself for his stupidity. _Did you think he liked you back, or that he would be interested in pursuing an actual relationship with you? You’re exactly the idiot he’s always chastising you for being!_

 He didn't even realize that his shoulders slouched and the corners of his mouth were turning downwards in a unhappy grimace. He stared at his hands in his lap, and _fuck_ as things weren’t enough as they were, he could feel his eyes heat up. He fixed his gaze on his left thumb, urging for the blurriness and wetness in his eyes to go away because if there was one thing Simon would not do now, then it was cry in front of Raphael.

“Why do you look so displeased?” he heard Raphael inquire, but he didn't look up at him, couldn't bring himself to meet those dark, intense eyes that always seemed to read him like an open book. “This is what you wanted, right?”

Simon had been so focused on _don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry,_ so at first, he didn't even register Raphael’s words. When they eventually did sink in, it took him yet another few confused seconds to puzzle them together.

Wait, what?

“Wait, what?” Simon uttered out loud, perplexed by Raphael’s question.

Raphael was still looking impatient and displeased, but there was a bemused look on his face now too. He scrutinized Simon, frowning when he noticed how discouraged and crestfallen Simon looked.

 “That is what you wanted to talk about, right …? That you wish you didn’t go to bed with me. You just said it yourself - you wish you could undo it and, as you put it, it was a 'shitty' thing to do. And now I’m offering you a solution - we can pretend this never happened and I won’t act any different towards you, which is exactly what you hoped for when you came here, right?” Raphael asked, puzzled, and his words were slowly making their way through Simon’s brain, and when he finally made sense of them, he realized what Raphael must have been meaning.

“No!” Simon exclaimed and Raphael’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at the sudden shout. Simon became quiet for a few seconds again, trying to think of how to phrase his thoughts, and then the words just tumbled out of his mouth again.

“No, I mean, I don’t want that. To forget it, I mean. I, uhm I think I liked what we did? Yeah, I’m pretty sure I did. And like, I didn’t just like what we _did_ but I liked that _we_ did it? I like _we_ \- us, I mean, us. You. I like you,” he blurted out and his brain was racing faster than his mouth.

It all came out in a horrible mess and Raphael blinked at him, eyes narrowing as he tried to piece together the mess of words that Simon just blurted out in one breath. Simon didn't make it better though, because he kept talking and Raphael had to focus on the fledgling's continued rambling in order to keep up with him.

“So I mean, I don’t want to pretend this didn’t happen because … uh, well because I don’t want to? I mean, despite what you might think, I was actually aware of what I was doing. I hadn’t, like, lost myself to some uncontrollable fledgling desire that also erased my ability of understanding what was rational or who I was with, or however you put it, so my point is, I liked it. I liked - _like_ you. And I would like to continue this … whatever it is, although we should probably start by getting to know each other a little better first? If you don’t mind, I mean. Oh, by the Angel, maybe you _do_ mind! Maybe you’re just saying this because you don’t like me back and you try to subtly push me away by trying to tell me that lust or uncontrollable fledgling desire must’ve made me incapable of thinking straight and that that will make me realize that my feelings for you not are real at all but rather inflicted by some -”

 “Could you _please_ shut up for a minute and let me think?” interrupted Raphael, and while he did sound truly annoyed, he also didn't sound even half as threatening or exasperated as he would’ve been if he had said that a month ago.  Simon stopped talking as if someone has muted him, pressing his lips together to prevent himself from puking up more words that will embarrass him. With big eyes, he watched Raphael narrow his eyes as he was contemplating what Simon just said, and the wait was almost _painful._ Raphael’s face seemed to be made of stone, and his eyes didn't give away a single emotion, not any hints about what’s going on in his mind.

“So what you’re saying is … when you talked about how much you’ve fucked up and how wrong your actions were … you weren’t talking about you and me? And that we … accidentally slept together?” Raphael asked lowly, eyebrows knitting together. Simon shook his head violently.

“No! Definitely not! That’s absolutely not what I meant!” he asserted, fighting off the embarrassment he felt at Raphael's blunt words. Though he did find it kind of humoristic that also Raphael referred to it as their _accidental_ hookup. “I was talking about … um, the fact that I just left while you were sleeping without saying anything,” he averted his gaze in shame and scratched his neck awkwardly, not too happy that he was reminding Raphael of his highly immature, selfish actions. “And I’m really, really sorry for that. I fucked up, I know, it was selfish and not fair to you and I wish I hadn’t done it. I just panicked, because I figured that since you hate me, you would probably either stake me or banish me from the Hotel or something like that when you woke up.”

“Hm,” muttered Raphael, and _hm?_ What did that mean? _Hm, this changes everything_ or _hm, you’re right, that was a dick move and we should probably never speak again_? Simon’s imagination was running pretty wild and naturally, he did what he always did when he’s nearly hyperventilating with anxiousness: he talked.

 “But I understand and know that you don’t feel the same - which is totally okay, I can accept it! You don't need to explain yourself to me, or tell me why you did it, and I will probably get over you in no time … just, give me a few centuries and I will be back on the market again!” _Back on the market? What the fuck Lewis, are you a second-hand product that’s going to be sold or what?_

 “And I mean, I talked to Luke about us and he said that the wise thing to do would be to talk to you and I don’t know if that was a good advice or not because I think we’ve cleared up our feelings and at least I know you don’t like me so I don’t have to suffer in silence, thinking about _what might be_ because now I am aware of your feelings and I won’t-”

“ _Dios_ , mi idiota, _cállate!_ ” groaned Raphael and Simon was cut off mid-sentence when Raphael reached across the desk, grabbed his shirt and yanked him forward in a rough, sudden kiss. Their lips and teeth crashed against each other and Simon’s lips were still moving, still trying to form words because his brain hadn't caught up with what was happening.

However, Raphael kept holding onto his shirt, biting gently in Simon’s lower lip and it only took a few seconds for Simon to stop trying to talk and kiss back. He sighed happily into the kiss, one hand threading its fingers through Raphael’s thick hair and the other one came to rest on Raphael’s hand that’s still clinging onto the front of his shirt. Raphael's lips were soft and just like he remembered them, and even though the kiss was a little urgent, it's not as messy and desperate as the ones they shared the last time they got a bit too close to each other. Raphael’s fingers started pulling questioningly in the fabric and Simon, getting the hint, raised his arms and let Raphael pull his shirt off in one smooth move. They’re not separated for long though, because the second the shirt’s discarded to the floor, Raphael dove back in and his tongue prodded for entrance, which Simon granted with an embarrassing moan.

He could probably have stayed there forever, feverishly making out, but he realized eventually that their position must be quite uncomfortable for Raphael - in his hurry to shut Simon up, he had nearly flung himself across the desk and was now half-sitting, half-lying across it, body twisted in a rather awkward angle.

Simon tried to pull back from the kiss, mumbling “hm, Raphael, we should -” but Raphael chased his lips and silenced him again, and Simon didn't possess the willpower to say no to those sweet lips.

Not until Raphael let out a displeased grunt and shifted on the desk, trying to find a less strained position, Simon managed to regain some of his control and he whispered:

“Rapha, we should move,” and Raphael froze for a second, and Simon had time to think _shit I took it too far again, didn’t I?_ before Raphael dropped another feather light and sweet kiss to Simon’s lips and replied huskily:

“To the bed?”

Normally, Simon would have made a joke about the cheesy cliché question, but Raphael pressed another, long kiss to his throat and Simon’s brain stopped functioning. All he could do was dwhisper a strained: “If you want to,” eyes fluttering close when Raphael’s fangs lightly scraped against his nowadays non-existing pulse point.

Raphael attached his lips to the pale skin on Simon’s neck again, relishing in the pleased gasp that slipped out of his fledgling, before he swung his legs over the desk and landed on the ground before Simon. Simon didn't even have time to react before Raphael picked him up bridal-style and carried him towards the bed.

Simon blinked up at him, taken aback by the sudden treatment, but he didn't object - he grinned lopsidedly at Raphael, who tried to give him an unimpressed look but since his hair was tousled and lips kiss-swollen, he didn't really succeed.

 "Does this mean that you like me back?" Simon wondered boldly, grinning stupidly, eyes glittering. Raphael rolled his eyes, and he considered dropping Simon for his cheekiness.

"Yes, it does, _idiota_ ," he sighed, and flung Simon onto the bed.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I decided not to tag Raphael as anything (demisexual, asexual, greysexual etc) because I feel like I don't have enough knowledge about those sexualities to "apply" one of them to Raphael. Okay, "apply" is an awful word to use (hm, should I apply my homosexuality or my demisexuality this time?) but I don't really know how to put it ...  
> So, I know Raphael is confirmed asexual, and I don't mean to disrepect that by writing this. This was just written for fun, and all sexualities are very real, very valid and very important <3
> 
> Also I am working on two prompts, but I have kind of gotten stuck with them. Does anyome know how to write a poem? I want Raphael to read some sort of love-ish poem to Simon but I have no idea how to write a poem even in my own language ...  
> Suggestions or help is appreciated!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


End file.
